A Space Hunter’s Story

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“So how long has it been since you’ve hunted on earth?” Islipt asked.

Nrfum considered the question as he polished his sword. The eye in the back of his head blinked rapidly.

I’m going to say about 700 years, gave or take a decade.” 

“A blink of the eye!” Islipt chortled. “You know that some things are going to be different now right?”

Nrfum stopped polishing his weapon and stood up. He wasn’t very tall for a Nurtligster, just seven feet, but he held himself with dignity.

“We’ll still be hunting a hapless human right? They haven’t evolved have they?”

“Not physically.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nrfum asked.

“We think their using their brains more now,” Islipt explained.

I doubt that, my friend. I’ve read planetary reports that they’re still killing each other in record numbers every day. Wars and famine. Governments rising and falling. Nothing but chaos.” 

The ships landing lights came on bathing the room in a blue glow as the onboard computer politely requested they take their seats and prepare for the descent..

“It’s 1:00 p.m., EST, in The United States, and the temperature is mild – low 70s – but slightly humid,” the computer informed them. They touched down in a big grassy meadow surrounded by hardwood trees in full fall colors.

Islipt and Nrfum stepped out of the craft and into a riot of colors – leaves dancing down as the rush of air from the ship picked them up again and made them dance once more across the clearing.  The two aliens strapped their swords across their backs and started walking.

Dusk came shortly, and then darkness fell as the two space travelers picked their way through the dense forest – their eyes going from black to white – as they naturally gained their night vision.

Last time I was on this planet I killed a king, and had him stuffed like my other trophies. I think his name was Arthur, or something like that,” Nrfum boasted. Islipt wasn’t listening. He was making plans to bag a president.

After weeks of careful planning it came to this. That’s why Islipt led the way. He had first dibs on this hunt. Nrfum had agreed to come along as a witness and to finish what he couldn’t.”

The big white house was lit up like a Starfleet holiday parade when they arrived. It was child’s play to hop over the gate – one bound and they were heading for the entrance of the building.

If it wasn’t for their invisibility shields the two tall aliens would have stood out like blue storks. Up the stairs. To the right. Open the door. Then another door. The president was sitting on his golden throne – aka shitter – and tweeting something to his minions.

They turned off their invisibility shields and grinned at the chubby man with his pants around his ankles franticly typing a tweet with his little fingers..

“This guys the leader of the free world?” Islipt asked, sarcasm dripping from each word.

Nrfum shook his head in wonder, his third eye blinking rapidly, as he shared Islipt’s disgust.

As they carried his corpulent body back to the ship, the two aliens agreed he was the worst excuse for a leader they’d ever seen. If it wasn’t for that Wanted “Dead or Alive” poster in a Cyclia bar offering 1,000,000,000 Dortzaps for him, they would have gone after Russia’s leader Putin.

Now that would have been a good kill.

As It Stands, I like mixing science fiction and satire around in a wok, and seeing what the results are.

 

 

Author: Dave Stancliff

Retired newspaper editor/publisher, Vietnam veteran, freelance writer, blogger, married 43 years with three sons and five grandchildren.

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